you are paying

As I approach the empty page, I shiver, I am not quite at ease with the thoughts

Of thoughts emerging, and having to canalize all of them

Just as I learnt to canalize anger and happieness and never succeded

In achieving / much of anything/ as I should have

stay

let me fight my way through your memories, i’ll scare you, easily

i’ll make you espect the worst of me and let you be surprised with the rest but in the meantime there will be no rest

there is never such a thing as to be restfull in my mind, in my dreams i am hollow and thus with the wind I am ment to vanish

holding myself back of the fece on the bridge, I have no control over my body/my mind is long gone, they try to rescue me, but I feel no pain

i don’t need to go to the hospital, therefore I escape.

Find my way through a kitchen and staring at knives. But there is no bad intentions behind the facination,

Since I am already absent and there is only my body that has remained

Read me /Waking up is not as reassuring,

My nightmares have something to be espected of my real self that wants to emerge,

she is wearing a yellow dress, she is prancing around

you’d love her.

Not because she is me, but because she is true

I am nothing to rely on, and I cannot stand to be lied to,

This is how I figured the reasons I dislike myself

i am shrinking